For some people, trying to get pregnant and having a baby can happen without major complications. For others, fertility can come with its share of highs and lows. Statistics show that between 10 and 20 of every 100 pregnancies end in miscarriage, according to the March of Dimes. Most of those miscarriages happen in the first trimester of pregnancy. Jasmine Perry and her husband have unfortunately felt the pain of miscarriage.
“It’s heartbreaking how common it is,” Perry told 21Ninety.
Although she has gone through two miscarriages, she is still hopeful that one day she will successfully carry a healthy baby to full term. Perry says it’s her village and faith that keep her encouraged during her waiting season.
First Miscarriage
As you can imagine, Perry and her husband were excited after finding out they were expecting a child together in 2022. Eventually, however, health problems contributed to the pregnancy ending early. Perry called the experience terrifying.
“I ended up in the hospital twice and eventually needed to have a D&C,” Perry told 21Ninety. “I was also dealing with fibroids and endometriosis.”
Those are two conditions many Black women are diagnosed with. A few months after the miscarriage happened, Perry had surgery to remove the fibroids and treat the endometriosis.
“Doctors believed that the fibroids were going to make it hard for me to carry a baby to term safely,” Perry said. “We were advised that removing the fibroids was the best option before trying again.”
The procedure was a success, so the couple kept trying.
It Happened Again
Two years later, Perry got the news that she was expecting again. However, her joy would soon turn into pain again. The second miscarriage happened when she was 8 weeks along in the pregnancy. It began to take a toll on her mentally.
“I worried that something was wrong with me,” Perry said. “I was also confused because I had gone through an extensive surgery and hoped getting pregnant again would be easy and successful.”
Her doctors never diagnosed her with another medical issue after the second miscarriage. Instead, they have encouraged her to give it another shot.
“While it is incredibly hard to hear, and at times even more hard to believe, my doctors have said that being able to get pregnant is a good thing,” Perry explained.
Coping with Loss
Thankfully, Perry has a strong support system to uplift her during trying times. She leans on her family, friends and pastors.
“The way they continue to simply be there for me and my husband, makes me want to cry happy tears thinking about it,” Perry said.
She touts her faith as another tool of encouragement, listening to songs, like “Fear is not my future,” by Maverick City Music.
“I often read Psalm 23 as a source of comfort,” Perry mentioned. “It was my late grandfather’s favorite verse.”
Therapy has also been an outlet as she deals with grief. She has even connected with other women who have gone through the same type of loss.
“Some went on to have children, others are like me and still trying,” Perry said. “I hope to be a support for them as well.”
You’re Not Alone
Fertility struggles can feel isolating or shameful, but Perry wants other women to know that they are not alone in this.
“If you are comfortable reaching out to people who are more open about their experience, you might find not only comfort, but hope,” Perry said.
For anyone who knows someone dealing with miscarriage, she says you need to listen to them, check on them and be patient with their process.
“Do your best to educate yourself about miscarriage and fertility struggles outside of the conversations with your loved one,” Perry suggested.
For her own journey, Perry is trusting God for a miracle when the time is right.
“I’m just remaining prayerful and doing all I can to focus on being well, mind, body and soul,” Perry said.